Noddy, Toyland’s bad influence on the nation

I’m probably the only person in Britain to think like this about Noddy. Yet every
time I see an episode on ma-ma-ma-ma-mi-mi-mi-mi-more-Milkshake I find myself
getting really frustrated by this villainous urchin.

He’s always doing something wrong or naughty and then getting caught. Then, after
he’s admitted it, everyone tells him not to worry, because he’s had the bottle to
own up to it.

Here’s an example of the end of a recent episode I either saw or dreamed.

NODDY: Sorry, Big Ears, but I’ve set fire to your house, stolen your TV, shot your
cat, slashed your tyres and poured battery acid all over your car…

BIG EARS: Well, don’t worry, Noddy, the important thing is you’ve been honest and
owned up to it. And because you admitted it let’s forget all about it and have a
nice cup of tea. (Pause) Better make it at your gaff - I’ve got the loss assessor
round mine.

This is a serious miscarriage of justice if you ask me. He’s obviously an ASBO kid
whose trying it on with the old “Butter wouldn’t melt…” act. Bang him up in
Feltham for a five year stretch for arson, burglary, cat-murder and vandalism.
Problem sorted and everyone in Toyland can live happily ever after.

Well, until he’s out on probation anyhow.

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