Music to have babies to…

I was thinking the other day about CDs and songs I should take to the hospital to inspire Charlotte while giving birth to the twins. I enlisted the help of some people on a forum and here’s the initial list we have come up with:

The Verve - The drugs don’t work
Salt ‘n Pepper - Push it
Cat Stevens - I can’t keep it in
Tears for Fears - Shout, shout, let it all out
Thompson Twins - Doctor, Doctor
Tina Turner - Don’t leave me this way
The Beatles - Help!
Britney Spears - Baby One More Time (particularly apt for twins…)
Britney Spears - Born to make you happy
D-Ream - Things can only get better
Madness - My girl’s mad at me
Frankie Goes to Hollywood - Relax
Iggy Pop - Baby it can’t fall

If you have any additions to the compilation please let me know…

Twins

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What to read while waiting for the twins to be delivered

I recently asked a Twins forum what I should take in my bag to the hospital while waiting for the birth of the twins and I got an outstanding and very helpful response. What surprised me however, was how many people recommended taking books as there could be a lot of waiting around.

So I thought about it and remembered what I did before Monty was born (apart from driving up to Watford, delivering a presentation to a client, and then driving back to the hospital to assist with the delivery of our son).

I did nothing, as I recall. Because I really couldn’t concentrate and I thought it would be a bit unfair of me to start reading books while Charlotte was having contractions. I didn’t think it would go down too well if, while she was heaving away in pain, I occasionally looked up from a thumping good novel to say “Shhh, hun, can you pipe down a little? I’ve just got to a really good bit.”

So I asked on the forum who had actually read any of the books they had taken - an almost unanimous response confirmed what I suspected - i.e. that virtually nobody had been able to read them at all. Charlotte and I have therefore agreed that Hello, OK and other magazines will be fine - the more pictures the better.

And I’ll take a couple of running magazines and a copy of Men’s Fitness just to make me feel at home. And maybe even a copy of Empire so I can read the movie reviews - after all, if labour really looks like it’s taking a while I might just nip out and catch a movie…

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What to take to the Hospital for the Birth of the Twins

A few days ago I posted a question on a couple of forums about what I should consider taking to hospital the day Charlotte goes into labour. I had some excellent answers, including some very funny ones.

Here is the combined list of items which other people took in their bags, together with some of the comments received:

Camera
Batteries
Mobile phone
Charger for mobile
Money for parking, payphones and canteen
Credit cards
Full change of clothes (possibly even 2)
Towel
Deodorant
Toothbrush
Food
Drinks
Puzzle book
List of people to contact after birth of twins
A pillow and blankets
A mini fan
A 4 pack of lager
The sun newspaper,
Anything to stop them say they’re moaning
Camcorder and batteries
Toiletries in case of overnight stay
Frozen small bottles of mineral water
Reading material
Magazines
Books
An ice pack - “for your hands - after they have been squeezed to mush by your dear partner as she gives birth!!”
A water pistol
Dextrose tablets
A large fan
“A picture of our dog”
Two meaningful CDs
Tissues
A bottle of Evian
A flask of tea
Some sarnies
A large sausage roll
Reading material - nothing containing lithe limbed ladies
A note book - eh!
A can of red bull
“A spare t-shirt (in case he got covered in mess he said!) ”
Caffeine drinks “(you will most likely miss a night’s sleep)”
Newspapers
CDs
Imodium
A list of your favourite jokes to recite at wholly inappropriate times
Chewing Gum
Brushaways
A sense of humour…
Food, food and more food
Flannel/small towel
Pain killers for you “just in case she grabs a piece of your anatomy (that got you there in the first place) and squeezes hard so you can experience a tiny amount of pain too”
Toys for any existing children
Liquorice - for energy
Parental responsibility forms
A folding travel changing-mat to fit inside a hospital cot
6 king sized snickers bars
Present for wife….. (can’t think why - I doubt she’ll remember to take one for me…)

So that all looks pretty straightforward doesn’t it? I’ll need a juggernaut to carry that lot…

So here’s what’s going in mine:

Camera
Batteries
Mobile phone
Charger for mobile
Money for parking, payphones and canteen
Credit cards
Full change of clothes
Towel
Deodorant
Toothbrush
Food, sandwiches, crisps, chocolate, jaffa cakes, fruit cake, malt loaf
Drinks, coca cola
Newspapers
Magazines
CD player
CDs or compilation (see separate blog to follow on “greatest hits to give birth to”)

Charlotte’s bag is all ready so I’d better get mind done soon too. Just in case they’re early, God forbid.

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And I thought she wasn’t getting them

Just now I opened the door to the delivery guy from Sainsbury’s. I say “the” guy as if there’s only one. In fact we’ve been having the groceries delivered for about a year and I swear I’ve never seen the same driver more than once. Which could be a good thing, bearing in mind last week’s order was completely wrong. Apparently we have an unusual surname yet on that occasion someone else with the same name was getting their food delivered by this driver too. So their food got delivered to us by mistake. Well it would have done if I hadn’t spotted that our weekly order looked a lot healthier than usual, including all sorts of healthfoods, wholemeal this and organic that. So I managed to get the guy to have another look for our order. He nearly got it right. We still had to call again the next day to say that some of our food was still missing. I don’t believe that we’re the only family that has this problem. “How many drivers does Sainsbury’s employ?” I ask myself. If we have a different driver every week and there are 52 weeks of the year then I assume that either the turnover is very high or else they have gazillions of men in a huge pool of drivers. I suspect the former.

Anyhow, the point of this blog is that as I was unpacking today’s delivery (which was refreshingly all present and correct) I noticed that we had apparently ordered more kiwi fruit to accompany the already increasing numbers of kiwi fruit in our fruit bowl. So I wonder if this is the result of some new craving that Charlotte has forgotten to mention. There was also an abundance of cantaloupe melons.

Before you go thinking this is a really healthy order I also came across several Cadbury chocolate dip things, one being a Crunchie and a couple of Flake ones as well.

I’m also having to eat a lot more chocolate too as I feel it’s my duty to give Charlotte as much support as possible.

Honestly, the things I do for her…

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More names we’re considering or rejecting

To ensure that the names we consider stay under wraps I won’t be mentioning any of them in this blog. However, there are a few names which definitely won’t be on our list.

The way we’re going through names at the moment is simple. When we have some spare time (not much of that around here) we sit on the sofa and go through the 40,001 Best Baby Names. I’m more convinced than ever that some of them are made up. The last three days since I started waving the magic burning wand over Charlotte’s little toes (see my blog from a few days ago) have given us two 20 minute sessions a day where we have been able to kill two birds with one stone by sifting through names. The way it works is Charlotte reads out only the most stupid names which will make us laugh and also the names that she likes. That way I say yes or no to whichever names I like too and we add only those ones to the shortlist which we both like. Although we rarely find a name which we both like, we only need to find four for each gender. The plan is that all our children will have a second name. I never had one because, as I explained in a blog before, my parents were children during the Second World War and, consequently, were conditioned to ration everything. They carried this conditioning over to choosing names for my brother and I although I notice that my sister was given a second name so I’m not sure exactly what happened there. As we don’t know the gender of the twins yet we have to prepare for the possibility of two girls or two boys, hence the need for four boys’ names and four girls’ names.

So, we have now reached the letter “L” in the girls’ names section and in the last few letters we have only just managed to find one name that meets mutual approval. No, I’m not saying what it is.

But here’s a list of some of the rejected names:

Egypt

We haven’t even considered Niall either……………..Niall/Nile, geddit?

Iona

No, no, no, no, no. Iona, Iona, I-own-a bicycle etc

Jamaica

This reminds me of the old joke:
“My wife’s just gone to the Caribbean on holiday.”
“Jamaica?”
“No, she went of her own accord.”

Jaylo

Yes, really. Named after Jennifer Lopez - so not a chance we’ll be using that one thanks.

Jinx

You just wouldn’t do that to your own kid if you loved them, would you? Apart from the obvious connotation that goes with Jinx, I can see that a girl’s schooldays would forever be ruined as classmates would always be running up to her and saying “Hi Jinx!” and then fall about laughing hysterically.

Lilette

Again, for pity’s sake who would name their child after a tampon - I think that should be considered child cruelty and abolished forever.

So, we’re still at the stage where we’re compiling our shortlist. More to follow in due course…

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It’s day 9. So far so good. A few minor accidents but nothing too traumatic for any of us. Monty’s doing well and still proudly announcing his endeavours to everyone he meets. For every wee in the potty he earns a sticker and for the more major efforts he gets a toy car - we bulk bought some good small ones the other day especially for that purpose. Now I have no idea how we stop rewarding him with cars - I see tantrums and a deliberately constipated 2 year old on the horizon…

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How to make a smock for nursery…

To add to what I already wrote about Monty’s smock a week or two ago I am including a photo now of Monty in his smock - it’s his “uniform” at nursery and prevents him getting too covered in glue, paint, ink or whatever else he gets his paws on.

I may be biased but doesn’t he look sweet?

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When Monty was born my wife had to take a bag to the hospital just in case they kept her in for any length of time. I couldn’t believe how much had to go in the bag. And now we have to do it all over again. This time it’s almost certain that she will be kept in for a day or two. Which means I’ll be very busy. Not that I’m complaining about being busy.

But I’ve been told that I now have to take a bag or my own and I have no idea why. So I’ll be looking for ideas and if anyone has any then please let me know.

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Different remedies for un-breaching a twin

After Charlotte’s last scan we discovered that Twin A is currently breached. If it was Twin B it wouldn’t be as important. So Charlotte started asking for advice from other mothers on the Twinsclub Forum. It seems like the advice is fairly consistent if you have one baby that is breached - getting down on all fours and swaying or crawling. More athletic mothers can put their knees up on a sofa and elbows on the floor - apparently this position also encourages babies to turn. Nobody seems too sure, although apparently if you need a doctor’s help to turn the baby using manipulation techniques it can be very painful.

Acupuncture has also been recommended.

Charlotte likes to cover all bases so she did the knees up on the sofa thing which left me helpless with laughter when I came into the sitting room one night and found her “in position”.

Then she tried acupuncture - because of course a few needles stuck in her wrists and ankles should do the trick…….

And it was at the last session of acupuncture that Charlotte got a really cracker bit of advice - this one is my favourite - I think it must have originated with a witch doctor somewhere. It’s called Moxa or something like it - twice a day for four days we have to carry out the following procedure: light a small burning stick provided by acupuncturist. Wave it over little toe on each foot for 10 minutes each (about half an inch away) - apparently it doesn’t matter if it’s clockwise or anti-clockwise waving….. which I would have thought was pretty important, but, hey, what do I know about voodoo?

So this morning we tried it…. see photo to see how it should be done.

And, apart from me falling about laughing at the lunacy of participating in this, we did a fairly good job. What I didn’t realise was just how much smoke would be generated. Not long into our first ten minutes we found the room was getting cloudier with smoke and visibility was being reduced. So I opened the garden door to try to get the smoke out. And, the really funny thing about this is that the stick smelled like a spliff…

I wondered if we were going to get high from the experience - and hope not; I can’t be doing with getting stoned just trying to un-breach our twins.

Charlotte was mostly concerned that I didn’t get the burning wand too close and melt her toe - I was more concerned about me getting a criminal record. I can’t believe the acupuncturist would turn out to be our dealer… still, at least if we’re caught in possession of burning wands we can realistically claim they are for personal use. But try explaining that one to the cops - I can see it now:

“Well, officer, we were reliably told (by our dealer) that waving the burning embers over the little toes would help Twin A to turn away from it’s breach position…”

“Yeah right, sir, you’ll have to accompany me to the station. You’re nicked.”

(In four days’ time I will report back on the results of this madness.)

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5 days and still going strong

It’s one of those things that just wouldn’t have been exciting to me two years ago.

Yesterday morning I was woken from a deep sleep by Monty running into our bedroom. Charlotte had got up with him earlier and I was having a lie-in.

“Daddy, Daddy, wake up,” he shouted, excitedly. “Look, I’ve done a wee-wee in my potty!” I’m quite proud of my response, seeing as it felt horribly early and I wasn’t primed for this.

“Well done!” I replied “Clever boy, Monty!” I still hadn’t even opened my eyes. “Look, Daddy. It’s here.” My eyes flashed open in a nano-second. Oh my God, I thought, he’s brought the potty in and in his excitement he’s bound to spill the contents over the duvet or, worse, me. Luckily Mummy wasn’t too far behind and she was able to stop him from dragging the potty up on to the bed.

We’ve only been training Monty for a few days. We’re still having one or two accidents but generally it’s been ok.

We’ve been utterly shameless in creating a reward scheme (bribes) - he gets a sticker for a successful wee-wee in the potty and a toy car for a poo. Who would have thought I would ever get excited about this kind of success? But excited I get. It’s the look of pride on his face every time he achieves a success and his tone of voice when he announces to the world what he’s done. He tells everyone he sees, as well.

Awww, sweet!

Twins

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