Let’s scan and meet the Consultant…

“Hmmmm”, said the consultant. “And just how big was Monty when he was born?”

Charlotte looked worried for a moment “Why?” she asked, nervously.

“Well”, replied the consultant, “your twins are normal size for singletons… and large for twins.”

Monty was slightly larger than average for a singleton; he was about eight pounds and the average is seven and a half. So I reassured Charlotte that the twins will be smaller than Monty was. There is only one difference, in fact, and that is that there will be two of them. We talked about inductions and when we’ll have to induce if there’s no sign of the twins beforehand. We discussed this all very matter-of-factly. Until Monty was born I didn’t realise that men have a pelvic floor too. I found myself remembering this as I crossed my legs and clenched hard. And I’m a bloke. I don’t even have to do the bowling ball through the eye of a needle thing. But my powers of imagination are frightening. Once again I thought that, if there is a God, I should thank him now for making me a “geezer” and not a woman.

The best news we had is that Twin A, who wasn’t playing the game at all, has turned since the last scan and is no longer in a breached position. Now the head is down, all systems are ready, we have an amber light and we’re waiting for green. Apparently we definitely won’t have them in the next five days. The consultant was very precise about that.

“If you’re planing a trip, go now.” He said.

As if…

So, anyway, the main thing is all is well and the countdown has started - T minus 5 weeks to lift off…

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