In just a few days’ time the twins will be born. So we’re trying to make all those last minute preparations that will help everything go as smoothly as possible - well, that’s the plan anyway.

Charlotte has been eating quantities of pineapple. Apparently this makes a difference in speeding up the arrival of newborns. Although I strongly suspect this and many measures like it are all old wives’ tales I’m not going to say that out loud, am I? Be supportive, Luke, I tell myself.

She’s also getting acupuncture every few days too - because sticking pins in her is likely to encourage the twins along.

And the old Rasberry Leaf Tea drinking never fails, does it? Well, apart from when we had Monty two weeks late.

It seems like it won’t be long before we’re going back to the burning wand treatment we used when we discovered that one of the twins was breached. Maybe it was that which righted the twin or maybe it was the upside down resting position which Charlotte assumed on the sofa. Who knows?

With Hallowe’en next week at least I won’t feel so stupid if I’m caught cooking up a cauldron of bat ears, stinging nettles and snails trying to concoct a voodoo style poultice for Charlotte’s tummy.

Basically we’re trying anything and everything so Charlotte doesn’t have to carry the twins around for much longer.

We did another photoshoot of her tummy at the weekend - results on display here. 36 weeks down and not long to go.

Really, we are ready now…

(Luke whistles impatiently and drums his fingers on the desk)

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