Monty and Tilly - who says babies don’t smile?”

I voiced this concern several times on here before and asked questions on various forums including TwinsClub, Twinlets and TAMBA. How could I help Monty accept his new siblings rather than become jealous of them.

We did several things which sounded like good common sense. There were other ideas which I would like to have followed up with but time got the better of me. Specifically I liked the suggestion from one mother that she created a scrapbook type book/story about the forthcoming twins’ arrival and read the story to the elder sibling every day to familiarise them with what was going to happen.

We had told Monty every day for ages that Mummy had two babies in her tummy. We referred to them as his babies to give him a sense of involvement. And here, for me, was one of the few downsides of not knowing the gender of the twins beforehand. It was hard to help Monty to bond with the new babies when we couldn’t tell him if he was going to have little brothers or sisters or one of each.

In fact, I had always wanted to know the gender of the twins and also of Monty before he was born, again to make it easier to bond with them all. I think maybe it’s easier for a mother to bond with her baby/babies because she’s spent 9 months with them inside and is all too aware of their presence and their needs. However, I didn’t ask the gender before as I didn’t want to be the only one who knew. I knew I’d blurt it out by accident sometime. So I remained ignorant and am over the worst of it now…

At first Monty was a little puzzled by it all, but seemed to be quite welcoming to Tilly and Scott. He introduces them to any guests we have and talks about them to other people. I made a copy of some photos of them so he could show his friends at school.

It hasn’t all gone smoothly; he gets a bit sulky with Mummy and Daddy sometimes, more than we’re used to, and he can be quite argumentative. Nevertheless, I brought him home from nursery school today and practically his first question when he came through the dorr was “Where are Tilly and Scott?” So he is beginning to form a bond with them. He also talks to them, kisses them and strokes their heads. When they cry he asks them what the matter is and he likes holding them too. So it’s all looking good so far.

He’s becoming a very caring and loving older brother. Who could ask for more?

They’re very lucky twins.

Share This