OK, it’s time for me to address this age-old “Why, Daddy” problem and my utterly ridiculous and childish attempts at a suitable resolution. It always starts innocently enough before disintegrating into a verbal ping pong match. A few days ago I had a fine example of how the conversation with Monty goes while driving to Richmond Park for our weekly run.

We were driving along quite happily, listening to “Chug Chug” (Monty’s name for the first Tin Pan Annie cd). On a stretch of what is usually an empty road at that time of the morning, I had to slow down and wait for a scaffolding lorry ahead to reverse around a corner and park before I could go ahead. Monty pointed at the lorry and said, emphatically “Look, Daddy, that lorry’s going backwards”.

“Yes, it is”, I agreed.

And then it started…

MONTY: Why’s it going backwards, Daddy?

DADDY: Because it’s going to park in that street there.

MONTY: Why, Daddy?

DADDY: Because it’s going to unload the scaffolding.

MONTY: Why, Daddy?

DADDY: Because some people want to put a new roof on their house. (Bit of a guess)

MONTY: Why, Daddy?

DADDY: Because they let it fall into a poor state of disrepair (I had committed myself to answering every question to his satisfaction until I wore him out, even if it meant taking a few liberties)

MONTY: Why, Daddy?

DADDY: Because they just don’t understand the value of their property and now they’re having to pay the price for their neglect (not necessarily a bare-faced lie; let’s call it creativity in motion)

MONTY: Why, Daddy?

DADDY (Pausing for dramatic effect and then, deliberately and with the utmost sincerity) Because, my boy, we all have to pay for our sins eventually…

You see? Parenting can be so much fun!

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