More names we’re considering or rejecting

To ensure that the names we consider stay under wraps I won’t be mentioning any of them in this blog. However, there are a few names which definitely won’t be on our list.

The way we’re going through names at the moment is simple. When we have some spare time (not much of that around here) we sit on the sofa and go through the 40,001 Best Baby Names. I’m more convinced than ever that some of them are made up. The last three days since I started waving the magic burning wand over Charlotte’s little toes (see my blog from a few days ago) have given us two 20 minute sessions a day where we have been able to kill two birds with one stone by sifting through names. The way it works is Charlotte reads out only the most stupid names which will make us laugh and also the names that she likes. That way I say yes or no to whichever names I like too and we add only those ones to the shortlist which we both like. Although we rarely find a name which we both like, we only need to find four for each gender. The plan is that all our children will have a second name. I never had one because, as I explained in a blog before, my parents were children during the Second World War and, consequently, were conditioned to ration everything. They carried this conditioning over to choosing names for my brother and I although I notice that my sister was given a second name so I’m not sure exactly what happened there. As we don’t know the gender of the twins yet we have to prepare for the possibility of two girls or two boys, hence the need for four boys’ names and four girls’ names.

So, we have now reached the letter “L” in the girls’ names section and in the last few letters we have only just managed to find one name that meets mutual approval. No, I’m not saying what it is.

But here’s a list of some of the rejected names:

Egypt

We haven’t even considered Niall either……………..Niall/Nile, geddit?

Iona

No, no, no, no, no. Iona, Iona, I-own-a bicycle etc

Jamaica

This reminds me of the old joke:
“My wife’s just gone to the Caribbean on holiday.”
“Jamaica?”
“No, she went of her own accord.”

Jaylo

Yes, really. Named after Jennifer Lopez - so not a chance we’ll be using that one thanks.

Jinx

You just wouldn’t do that to your own kid if you loved them, would you? Apart from the obvious connotation that goes with Jinx, I can see that a girl’s schooldays would forever be ruined as classmates would always be running up to her and saying “Hi Jinx!” and then fall about laughing hysterically.

Lilette

Again, for pity’s sake who would name their child after a tampon - I think that should be considered child cruelty and abolished forever.

So, we’re still at the stage where we’re compiling our shortlist. More to follow in due course…

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A book I’m currently reading…

I’ve been scanning the above book since someone gave it to my wife recently on her birthday. Written by an associate director of Paediatrics at the university of Nebraska Medical Centre and another writer, the books main USP is that it’s written as if a baby is a gadget. Toddlers are referred to interchangeably as units, models or toddlers I reckon this probably appeals to blokes’ humour more than women’s - that said, it’s an ok read so far. This isn’t a complete book review - that’ll have to wait until I’ve finished it.

The back cover is as good an example of what you can expect from within the pages:

“At last! A Beginner’s Guide to Toddler technology

Just when you’ve mastered your infant’s maintenance routine, he begins to malfunction, refusing fuel, crying inexplicably, and resisting your attempts to clothe him. Your infant has upgraded to a toddler! But how can you master your toddler’s changing technology?”

At first I thought this would be an entertaining read, but I was surprised by how fast I got bored of the technical jargon-speak. Nevertheless there was some useful info for parents about generally getting through this transitional time.

There’s also a chapter on discipline which includes advice on when and how to spank your toddler unit. Regulars here will know I’ve already decided to eliminate spanking from my list of options, so I wasn’t too excited about this section of the book. I make no judgement about anyone else who does use spanking as an option - it’s just not for me.

Other topics covered by the book include Updates for home and transportation, general care and handling and feeding: understanding the toddler’s power supply. There are others too, but these are the ones I’ve read so far. As far as I can see, the info is basic common sense, but I’d rather read it than not, so in that sense it’s helpful. If anything, it just confirms that we’re on the right track.

I have a lot of reading to do about parenting. Much through books I’m reading, but also, as I’ve recently discovered, there are excellent forums where parents can post questions and read what threads other parents have created. The two I’m looking at right now are the ones at Tamba (you need to be a subscribing member of Tamba to post threads or messages but you can read them) and the other one is Twinsclub. The latter one elicited more responses to a post I created about what car or MPV to buy so I guess this one is the more frequented of the two.

Anyhow, that’s a bit of a tangent. I’ll let you know when I finish this book and give it a final rating.

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A few more daft names we’re not considering
Skimming my really useful book of 40,001 Best Baby Names I found the following three daft entries back to back under the “P” section for girls. My apologies to any readers who may have been given these names by their parents…

Porsche (Latin) which means giving; high-minded (or 944 Turbo)
Portia (Latin) is a giving woman
Posh (American) is a fancy girl (not to be confused with our very own Mrs Beckham), although Posha, another occasionally used girl’s name is an acceptable derivation (as in Posha Spice-a)

OK, my fundamental problem with Porsche is that obviously it’s a type of car. And it should stay a car. It’s confusing. It’s like naming a new Japanese saloon car the Honda Kevin, or calling your precious, gorgeous, cuddly little newborn Cortina. It just doesn’t sound right.

And none of this helps Charlotte and me in our quest for names. We are currently considering two names neither of which appear in the 45,001 Names book so we know we’ve got unusual ones there.

If we ever agree on names before the twins are born, frankly I’ll be stunned. And if we haven’t then we’ll have to revert to my original plan of tattooing Twin 1 and Twin 2 on their foreheads……

Roll on the inspiration.

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This morning I just finished reading The Dad’s Book - for the Dad who’s best at everything, by Michael Heatley (published by Michael O’Mara Books Limited). Described on the jacket as “a book of clever tips and practical advice on the art of fatherhood”, this small hardback is filled with short chapters containing mostly common-sense hints on how to cope with parenting children of all ages. I like a book with very short chapters. You can read it on a train or in the bath or whenever you have a few minutes to kill. It has some great sections in it including Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say. The title of this blog is one of those things and other phrases included in this section include “What do you want a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend” and my personal favourite “Here’s my PIN number and credit card.”

Some of the other chapters are useful too, like the one which explains in meticulous detail how to make a real longbow and arrows. Hmmm, I’m not sure that’s such a great idea for father/son bonding with Monty. Advice on getting the kids to bed on time and the ten best bribes are covered in catchily titled chapters Getting the Kids to Bed on Time and Ten Best Bribes. So if you’re a new father to be then it may be worth buying a copy of this. As I say, it’s light, entertaining and has some interesting facts and ideas.

Did you know, for example, that the legendary boxer George Foreman had five sons and called them all George? His daughters, Georgetta and Freeda-George weren’t spared either.

Anyhow, it’s a fun little book which would make a good present for a father-to-be - I bought it at Waterstones so I guess it must be available everywhere.

Right, I’m off to learn how to make a kite…

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My wife, Charlotte, said earnestly at lunch today that the worst part of being pregnant is choosing names. We both have similar ideas about this. We don’t want to go for anything in the “Top 50” as we’d like our children to feel unique and special while they’re growing up. When I was at school there was nobody else called Luke. At the time I wasn’t sure I liked it but now I’ve got used to it and actually like being one of the only Luke’s of my age. In fact I don’t remember coming across many others with my name at all when I was young.

So we’re now going through the process of choosing names for our twins. Not yet knowing the gender of them means we have to select our top four boys’ names as well as our top four girls’ names just in case we have two boys or two girls. We had a challenge choosing Monty’s name and surprised a few people when we christened him “Monty Joe”. We often get asked what Monty is short for and we reply saying that it’s not short for anything – it’s just Monty. No point in giving him a name if it’ll just get abbreviated later on, we thought, so we did it for him.

So today I stopped in a bookshop and looked through the baby book section to find a book on names. And there were loads of them, several written by authors who seem to be very well known experts in the world of names. I nearly bought one for £8.99 which gave detailed descriptions of names and their origins. But in that copy there were only 5,000 names listed whereas I secured what I consider to be an absolute bargain when for a mere £6.99 I found a heavyweight volume called 40,001 Best Baby Names (as if there’s a Worst Baby Names volume). Advertised as “the one-stop baby-naming shop” and at just over a tenth of a penny per name I felt this represented the kind of superb value I just couldn’t walk away from.

The book thoughtfully provides a definition for each name together with variations on the spelling. There is also a section early on with several lists of suggested names including: Girl names for children of lesbians and gays (e.g. Celeste, Darcy, Pia and Ramona), Over the top boy names to avoid (e.g. Attila, Caesar, Lancelot and Rambo), Macho names (e.g. Bucko, Rip, Zoom and Spike), Exotic names for your baby girl (e.g. Cheyenne, Phyllida, Saffron and Sheba) plus many many more (as they say).

So it looks like Charlotte and I have a lot of reading (and probably laughing) to do over the coming months. Our definite no-no’s will appear here in due course. We’ve agreed that we’ll only include names we both really like. And because of that, sadly, Kermit has already been struck off my list. Happily though, Scooby is still in with a shout.

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My knowledge about twins is really restricted to what I’ve seen or heard over the years from either twins or people who know people who have twins. That is to say – it’s all random and I don’t really know what’s true and what isn’t. Do they really have some secret code or language which only they know? Can each one really tell when the other is in trouble, even when they’re nowhere near each other? Do they have some telepathic link? What is the long term impact on their sense of individuality if they are dressed in matching clothes?

So I know I’m going to have to find out some of these answers and consult the “experts”, i.e. people who have written books on the subject. Amazon displays over 1,500 titles when I searched under twins so my reading list could get a bit out of hand. So I asked the Oracle (my wife) for a recommendation. The first book she pulled down off the overloaded baby-book shelf was Double Trouble (Twins and How to Survive Them) by Emma Mahony.

Leafing through the pages swiftly I notice a lot of white, lots of clear, bold headlines and short paragraphs. This looks like my kind of book. I can dip in and out and not feel I have to read to the end of each chapter before putting it down.

So I’ll be able to report on my learning and progress in due course.

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